Navigating Motherhood: Amanda’s Journey Through Postpartum Healing

Motherhood is beautiful, but it is not always easy. For some, it can feel overwhelming and isolating. With the launch of our HER Pack, a collection of six essential oil blends designed to nurture emotional wellbeing and celebrate every phase of womanhood, we are proud to support The Held Project. For every HER Pack sold, one dollar will be donated to this incredible initiative founded by Amanda after her own journey through postpartum depression. We sat down with Amanda to hear her powerful story of resilience, connection and the importance of reaching out for help. 

Inside Amanda's Story through Postpartum Depression

I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, Sarah. I wanted to tell everyone I knew. I was elated. I was going to be a mama! I began planning for my dream birth, shopping for baby clothes (and maternity clothes!) and setting up her nursery.

Little did I know my pregnancy would be far from the glowing experience I had imagined. I suffered from hyperemesis, irritable uterus, premature rupture of membranes, and eventually delivered Sarah at 34 weeks. It was a challenging and emotional time.

I thought once I delivered, I would be so in love that nothing else would matter - and while I did feel deep love, I also felt something I didn’t expect: disconnection. I was overjoyed, but also overwhelmed. I had an array of conflicting emotions I couldn’t quite name. I told my obstetrician that I didn’t think I had the “baby blues” and assumed it was normal. And it was… until it wasn’t.

One night, in the depths of exhaustion, I texted my mum saying, “She can take her, I don’t want her anymore” - referring to my mother-in-law who lived nearby. I missed my old life. I was so, so sleep-deprived. That was when I realised I was experiencing postpartum depression.

Everything seemed to pile on at once – the trauma of my pregnancy, the stress of having a tiny premature baby, the relentless fatigue, the hormonal changes, the heartbreak of a failed breastfeeding journey despite trying everything, the judgement I felt for formula feeding, the anxiety from constantly checking her breathing due to laryngomalacia, and the loneliness of feeling disconnected from the outside world.

I already had a psychiatrist for other mental health needs, and he referred me to the Brisbane Centre for Perinatal Disorders (BCPND), a mother-baby psychiatric unit. It was life-changing. On my first night there, the nurses cared for Sarah from 8pm to 8am so I could get restorative sleep – something essential for recovery. I felt guilty at first, but when I woke up the next morning, I realised just how much I needed that rest. For the first time in weeks, I felt hope.

At BCPND, I learned practical skills for caring for Sarah and myself. I developed a feeding routine, learned how to bathe her confidently, sang to her, tried baby massage, and later began baby-led weaning. Most importantly, I built a real connection with her – the bond I had longed for from the beginning.

My journey wasn’t without further challenges. My second pregnancy brought more complications, however this time I delivered at exactly 37 weeks. I also experienced a brief period of postpartum psychosis due to sleep deprivation. But this time, I was prepared for the postpartum period with Georgie. I recognised the warning signs and put strategies in place to protect my mental health:

• Ensuring I had one uninterrupted sleep stretch each night (pumping to keep milk supply up).
• Making personal care was non-negotiable; showering daily, even if it meant the baby cried for a few minutes.
• Creating calm bonding moments – lying on a mellow mat together with soft music, tummy time, and singing “Georgy Girl” to her.
•  I put a Moses basket in the living room for her to sleep in during the day while I did the housework, keeping her close so she was part of my routine and house rhythm. 
• (I promise this isn’t a sponsored part of this post, it’s just genuinely what worked for me, and why I reached out to ECO. Modern Essentials to be a part of The Held Project) I diffused my essential oils daily. I had a diffuser in every corner of the house (no, really) because I later learned that I have an olfactory sensory profile (smells I like ground me and make me feel safe). My favourite oil by Eco Modern is the empowerment blend. I also love making a roller blend of lavender, clary sage and Roman chamomile. Not suitable for use in pregnancy, but it’s my favourite calming DIY blend.

Through The Held Project, I now share my experience to let other mothers know that it’s okay to ask for help, that perinatal mental health disorders are not a sign of failure, and that connection can be built over time.

Remember, the fourth trimester is full of conflicting feelings. If you’re not enjoying it as much as you thought, speak with your GP. They can help you identify warning signs and connect you with support.

Go gently, mama.

Love,
Amanda
The Held Project